Why me?

Why You ever chose me
Has always been a mystery
All my life, I’ve been told I belong
At the end of a line
With all the other Not-Quites
With all the Never-Get-It-Rights
But it turns out they are the ones You were looking for
All this time- Nobody by Casting Crowns

A few weeks ago, I received a copy of a cd, Only Jesus by Casting Crowns, from a woman I admire and respect tremendously.  It has been years since I actually had in my possession a new, still in the plastic wrap, brand new compact disc.  I could barely contain my excitement…in this age of digital content and instant song gratification, I had forgotten what it was like to hold a new never heard album in my hand!

At the time, I received this cd from my children’s babysitter and thought only about the happiness in receiving a gift.  The message that came through speakers was so much more than than I could ever have expected.  You see, my life has been filled with a long list of mistakes, mis-choices, mis-adventures, smart but not smart enough, good but not good enough, and any other close but not quite, you could find in school, work and life in general.  A large part of the time I lived feeling like a failure compared to the perfect lives of my Facebook friends.

After compulsively listening to this song over and over again, it started to dawn on me: I am who God has made me to be.  I am ME. He doesn’t make mistakes.  I was not meant to be at this job or that person with that award.  I’ve been where I am supposed to be all along.   It also left me feeling tearfully grateful; all the while I’ve been feeling woefully inadequate asking “Why me?”, I lost sight of having a set of phenomenal parents who always expressed how much they loved me.  I have close friends that know me and would do anything for me.  God gave me an extraordinary husband and three beautiful children that are so sweet and spectacular it makes me heart sing.  A job that I don’t hate and coworkers that really do care.  God put them all in my life.  Instead of why me, I should be praising and thanking.

I play this song for my kids every time we get in the car.  I sing it to them when I’m doing dishes.  I’m even taking my oldest to the Casting Crowns show coming to our area in March.  Why?  I want to show them that in being a nobody, a nobody following Jesus, they will always be right where they need to be.

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Love and hugs to you all, and thanks BCK for always being there for us ~ Cheryl

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