I believe I may have hinted in previous entries how 2018 was a HARD year.  It was the most challenging, stressful, faith shaking year I could have never imagined happening.  Let me share some of the details and how it’s shaped my family so far in 2019.

I started last year by going back to work; I had previously been a stay at home momma after we were blessed by a surprise 3rd child.   When Trevor was born I worked from home for the VA Dept of Agriculture and drove hundreds of miles each day.  My middle child was 20 months old, Trevor was a newborn and I was so sleep deprived I literally would not know how I got to location after location and really couldn’t remember what I supposed to be doing there.  I made the decision to stay at home, reasoning I just needed a break, I needed time with my babies and I needed to slow down. Being a stay at home momma of 2 littles and a 2nd grader was amazingly rewarding but really tough.  I didn’t handle it well.  I was actually pretty cruddy at it. When a position that I was qualified for came open a little more than a year later, I jumped for it.  I found I was actually better at being a mommy because I missed being at work.  Crazy right?

Anywho, I was working away and being mommy.  Free time I did not have.  We were constantly living in fear that Trevor would catch a cold.  Every sniffle seemed to doom us to an ER visit and or a admittance to an area hospital.  He was having asthma like symptoms, but we couldn’t get an official diagnosis.  My two oldest were upset I went back to work; they were very confused and upset I wasn’t there everyday.

I’m not comfortable getting into the nitty gritty of all of our internal garbage, but sometime last summer, Jared and I weren’t in a good place.  Lots of fighting, lots of hurt feelings, lots of discontent. We made face and looked awesomely happy, but deep down it was yucky and brown and not solid at all.  It’s amazing how stressful and straining life can be when your foundation feels flimsy and wobbly.  I prayed. And prayed. I prayed ALOT.   I prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide me and be with me. I prayed for my husband, that God would heal what was broken.   I couldn’t fix it, which is something my OCD, need to control personality, freaked out over.  It absolutely killed me that the love of my life and I were not on the solid ground I had hoped for.  I did not want to lose this handsome man!

I had forgotten in the chaos of the holiday season that we had signed up for a marriage retreat, hosted by our church.  I LOVE my church, but I won’t lie, I was very nervous on how the retreat would play out.  We all say to the Lord we want to hear Him speak to us and we want His will to be done, but I think sometimes it can be a little scary, right?

Last weekend was the retreat.  And folks, it was the most wonderful time I have ever had.  What my husband and I learned can be used throughout our entire lifetime.  What we witnessed and shared will never leave me.  God was in every moment of that retreat on the mountain.  I went in nervous and left rejuvenated.  We went in broken and left healed.  We cried, we laughed, we loved, and we prayed.   I heard long married couples share their stories.  We all go into marriage not realizing what “For Richer or For Poorer, For Better or For Worse, In Sickness and In Health” would really be like.  It’s not always easy, bouquets and chocolates.  These seasoned couples instructed us to pray for one another, always.

My heart wants to share with you so badly that it doesn’t matter how dark your season, how rough your sea is, or how how broken you may be.  God loves you and is with you.  Look up and cry out.  Sometimes there are no words in that first prayer.  “Help me Lord” is an awesome place to start.  Those things you feel need fixing, ask Him.  Give it all to Him and let Him do the heavy lifting.  We would love to have you at Bedrock Community Church.  We meet every Sunday at the old Bedford Bulletin building, at 9:15 am and 11:00 am.  You can also check out http://www.bedrockchurch.com, look around and listen to past services.  I’m usually there at 9:15…I’d love to save you a seat.

-Hugs and much love,  Cheryl

 

 

“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Isaiah 40:29.

 

 

 

 

 

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