Why me?

Why You ever chose me
Has always been a mystery
All my life, I’ve been told I belong
At the end of a line
With all the other Not-Quites
With all the Never-Get-It-Rights
But it turns out they are the ones You were looking for
All this time- Nobody by Casting Crowns

A few weeks ago, I received a copy of a cd, Only Jesus by Casting Crowns, from a woman I admire and respect tremendously.  It has been years since I actually had in my possession a new, still in the plastic wrap, brand new compact disc.  I could barely contain my excitement…in this age of digital content and instant song gratification, I had forgotten what it was like to hold a new never heard album in my hand!

At the time, I received this cd from my children’s babysitter and thought only about the happiness in receiving a gift.  The message that came through speakers was so much more than than I could ever have expected.  You see, my life has been filled with a long list of mistakes, mis-choices, mis-adventures, smart but not smart enough, good but not good enough, and any other close but not quite, you could find in school, work and life in general.  A large part of the time I lived feeling like a failure compared to the perfect lives of my Facebook friends.

After compulsively listening to this song over and over again, it started to dawn on me: I am who God has made me to be.  I am ME. He doesn’t make mistakes.  I was not meant to be at this job or that person with that award.  I’ve been where I am supposed to be all along.   It also left me feeling tearfully grateful; all the while I’ve been feeling woefully inadequate asking “Why me?”, I lost sight of having a set of phenomenal parents who always expressed how much they loved me.  I have close friends that know me and would do anything for me.  God gave me an extraordinary husband and three beautiful children that are so sweet and spectacular it makes me heart sing.  A job that I don’t hate and coworkers that really do care.  God put them all in my life.  Instead of why me, I should be praising and thanking.

I play this song for my kids every time we get in the car.  I sing it to them when I’m doing dishes.  I’m even taking my oldest to the Casting Crowns show coming to our area in March.  Why?  I want to show them that in being a nobody, a nobody following Jesus, they will always be right where they need to be.

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Love and hugs to you all, and thanks BCK for always being there for us ~ Cheryl

Day One

Howdy!  It’s a windy day here in southern Virginia. The kids and I are stuck inside today and we are suffering hard from cabin fever.  We’ve received a tremendous amount of rain and everything is absolutely soaking and mud is everywhere.  One is being occupied by Mickey Mouse and the others are trying hard to play school, but the getting along part and not fighting is proving to be difficult.

In between hand washing dishes (my beloved dishwsher is on the fritz)  and the mountain of laundry in the hall, I’ve been trying to research something that caught my eye last night: CBD oil.  I have chronic joint pain in my hands and knees, stemming from a combination of trips and falls on my knees, a recent bout of Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, a family history of Arthritis, and being overweight. I want 2019 to be the year I focus much more on myself, to better be able to care for my kids and support my husband.  I suffer from periodic mild depression and I really want to immerse myself in the Word and better self-care to relieve the symptoms associated with it.  From what I’ve read, it seems that CBD oil could be a great way to alleviate some symptoms without big Pharma’s prescription solutions.

Has anyone tried CBD oil? Do you have a favorite?  Let me know!!

-Cheryl

 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you & not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future” Jeremiah 29:11